Not Just a DAY OLDer..
In my infamous group of friends in high school, I am the youngest. At the office, I am also the youngest. While there is a difference in age between me and the people whom I’m always with, it does not always occur to me the time regarded as still to come. It’s not that I don’t have any ambitions in life or goals for the future. In fact, I’m dreaming of doing something that I really love in terms of career. That is to do hardcore labworks. Now, I’m talking about the near future. And having this dream of working inside a hardcore lab, I’m already planning to resign. Funny and ironic, I am currently employed in a company where my role is to love the subject in high school that I hated the most. Having to work in the company for almost two years now, I already feel like I’m stuck. I wouldn’t say I’m not very well compensated (the package is actually good), but I could already define boredom with what the company has to offer. However, given the current situation of our economy, I can’t afford to be choosy. So, I’m willing to stay until a new door of opportunity opens.
While having a conversation with a dear atheist friend in the office, I was absolutely taken back by her questions, but her being an atheist doesn’t have to do with my realizations. Our tête-à-tête started from frankfurters and cheese smokies we just had that afternoon and then it led to understanding of our directions in life. Although at first it seemed like I was a beauty pageant contestant giving hoping-for-world-peace answers, I was in the state of wanting to know something. Then she mentioned what her life was when she was my age, but I never really paid attention to it. Instead, I was thinking of what really lies ahead.
While I plan for the next gimmick this weekend or what to wear on a gimmick night or where to hangout after office hours, most of my friends are thinking of something else. Some are already planning the details of their wedding, targeting condo units and lots near Mega Manila where they will throw in millions and inquiring where to go to spend their vacation. What they have in mind is a far cry from mine.
The first day 
of February has passed again and it meant getting a year older for me. I just turned 23 and it seems that life is getting more serious each day. I never really enjoyed the day of my birthday until that night. Well for one, I was asleep the entire morning ‘til afternoon as a result of stress from work (had MLA-BCD-CEB-MLA & MLA-CGY-MLA trips). It was then I felt I’ve become a slightly different person. Of course, I understand that getting a year older on my birthday won’t magically change my principles and dispositions in life in an instant. It takes years, really.
I’m not getting any younger so I thought of broadening my outlook on life. This could sound like a promise, which could raise eyebrows if they don’t see or feel any changes at me at all, but I still would like to acknowledge my desire to change something. This could mean upsurging my savings, prioritizing properly, thinking straight, and getting on the right track. I am not evolving from Pikachu to Raichu or transforming from Beyoncé to Sasha Fierce. It’s just that, I see things differently now. I am not promising to be the employee of the month in the office, but I know I would perform well. Not just with work, but with everything.
I am young, but I won’t be young forever. It’s enough that I have already written here my thoughts about my career and the future because I don’t want to think about it too much anymore. Life is serious and I already know it. I don’t need to get serious with it. Like they say, life is short so live each day as if it’s my last. As long as I live free of guilt, I think it’s okay to take delight and pleasure in everything.
I don’t need another birthday to celebrate. After all, I have been staying in this planet for twenty-three years now and I’m still counting.
Let’s just be thankful we’ve lived longer than the poor creature below.. Ü
To all the people who remembered the day of my birth, thanks!
Sound off. Speak out. Criticize. Make a fuss. Whine. Bitch. 
February 20, 2009 at 2:34 am
Hey ee. It’s just now that I got to read your latest entry here. Just got back to the office after a couple of days leave. Well, I gotta say, I certainly am proud to be your friend. I’m glad that you’ve come to see things differently. I suppose the phrase “bata pa kasi si Ian” won’t fit you anymore. Yeah, it’s true. Life is serious. But as you said, you don;t have to take it all too seriously. I think that’s something I gotta take out of your book. Sigh… that used to be me… Without a care in the world at large… caring only about my world and what makes me happy. I guess I grew out of that. As song goes… “Goodbye apathy… so long fancy free…” Well, part of me wants to go back to that old self. But part of me also doesn’t want to. There are those today who say I am better now. I guess in ways I am. And I’m sure any change you go through will make you a better person. It’s not always about career or whatever. It’s ll about how you choose to live your life. It is your life after all.
Well, ee. I’m really glad that you are you. That’s the only thing you can take with you anywhere and everywhere you go. So don’t leave yourself behind. You are a unique person and it’s one of the many things I like about you. Perhaps it’s also the reason why I can’t let go of you in many ways. How similar you and my old self are, and how different we are at this point.
So my advice for you my dear friend, don’t think too much, but think enough to keep yourself going up. Don’t make the mistake I made. Don’t think too much. Live out your life but stop and think every now and then. You’ll see everything before you.
“The bluest sky is infinitely high and crystal clear. We live in a world with infinite possibilities, laid out before us crystal clear. All we have to do is choose the path we feel and think is the best for ourselves.”
All the best, ee.