"I brought millions to this company...you know... hahaha, fabulous!" (said it for the nth time)
No, this is not about the human beings, humans or man, but about homosexual officemates, but not all of them. Homo Sapiens are different. They are the ones who are under the illusion of being goddesses. This is not about their sexuality, preference or orientation, but their attitude. They have the right to brag about something, but the problem is they do it too much. Plus, they want to be spared all the time, but be given the attention they want. No one really understands them. They seem to be very self-indulgent. And talking about vanity, yes, they are vain. To Homo Sapiens, it seems that pleasing them is everybody’s privilege. Most of the time, people hate to approach them simply because they are mean. They like to bitch out because it makes them feel good. Homo Sapiens could be the wisest human or most knowledgeable human in the office, but who really cares? They should realize that not everyone gives a damn if they’re capable of everything. And because they are educated, Homosapiens think that their colleagues are just lower primates. If one Homo Sapien claims to be straight or denies the fact that he sucks dick or feels that there isn’t any sign of gayness with him, but acts like a screaming faggot all the time, then it’s another story.
_
In my infamous group of friends in high school, I am the youngest. At the office, I am also the youngest. While there is a difference in age between me and the people whom I’m always with, it does not always occur to me the time regarded as still to come. It’s not that I don’t have any ambitions in life or goals for the future. In fact, I’m dreaming of doing something that I really love in terms of career. That is to do hardcore labworks. Now, I’m talking about the near future. And having this dream of working inside a hardcore lab, I’m already planning to resign. Funny and ironic, I am currently employed in a company where my role is to love the subject in high school that I hated the most. Having to work in the company for almost two years now, I already feel like I’m stuck. I wouldn’t say I’m not very well compensated (the package is actually good), but I could already define boredom with what the company has to offer. However, given the current situation of our economy, I can’t afford to be choosy. So, I’m willing to stay until a new door of opportunity opens.
While having a conversation with a dear atheist friend in the office, I was absolutely taken back by her questions, but her being an atheist doesn’t have to do with my realizations. Our tête-à-tête started from frankfurters and cheese smokies we just had that afternoon and then it led to understanding of our directions in life. Although at first it seemed like I was a beauty pageant contestant giving hoping-for-world-peace answers, I was in the state of wanting to know something. Then she mentioned what her life was when she was my age, but I never really paid attention to it. Instead, I was thinking of what really lies ahead.
While I plan for the next gimmick this weekend or what to wear on a gimmick night or where to hangout after office hours, most of my friends are thinking of something else. Some are already planning the details of their wedding, targeting condo units and lots near Mega Manila where they will throw in millions and inquiring where to go to spend their vacation. What they have in mind is a far cry from mine.
The first day 
of February has passed again and it meant getting a year older for me. I just turned 23 and it seems that life is getting more serious each day. I never really enjoyed the day of my birthday until that night. Well for one, I was asleep the entire morning ‘til afternoon as a result of stress from work (had MLA-BCD-CEB-MLA & MLA-CGY-MLA trips). It was then I felt I’ve become a slightly different person. Of course, I understand that getting a year older on my birthday won’t magically change my principles and dispositions in life in an instant. It takes years, really.
I’m not getting any younger so I thought of broadening my outlook on life. This could sound like a promise, which could raise eyebrows if they don’t see or feel any changes at me at all, but I still would like to acknowledge my desire to change something. This could mean upsurging my savings, prioritizing properly, thinking straight, and getting on the right track. I am not evolving from Pikachu to Raichu or transforming from Beyoncé to Sasha Fierce. It’s just that, I see things differently now. I am not promising to be the employee of the month in the office, but I know I would perform well. Not just with work, but with everything.
I am young, but I won’t be young forever. It’s enough that I have already written here my thoughts about my career and the future because I don’t want to think about it too much anymore. Life is serious and I already know it. I don’t need to get serious with it. Like they say, life is short so live each day as if it’s my last. As long as I live free of guilt, I think it’s okay to take delight and pleasure in everything.
I don’t need another birthday to celebrate. After all, I have been staying in this planet for twenty-three years now and I’m still counting.
Let’s just be thankful we’ve lived longer than the poor creature below.. Ü
To all the people who remembered the day of my birth, thanks!
- “See?!! I’ve done this, like, forever!!!”
The ears and eyes of the office. Creatures of this kind are always on the lookout for news of either good or bad. They are the most reliable sources of information there are in the office. They can sense the perfect spot to get the freshest gossips and hearsays. Correspondents are neutral beings since not everybody likes them, as well as not everybody hates them. Mancoms are afraid of them because they can divulge every single detail of their secrets. However, most creatures depend on Correspondents’ character. It doesn’t matter how ill mannered they get as long as they feed other creatures with information that are in accordance with the fact or truth. They can also provide entertainment by simply talking about other creatures’ private lives. One must be scared to be the correspondents’ aim of attack for only the strong to withstand them survives. Correspondents could be fun, but they’re also dangerous.
More Office Creatures coming soon..
No one knows what they are up to..
This kind of creature is usually seen lurking in their cubicle or big room sending e-mails and talking on the phone or whatever. They make the most out of their privacy since they are isolated from their subordinates. I call these creatures Mancom because their powers include manipulation and complication.. They have made intricacy as part of their anatomy. Most of the time, the goals of your company are not achieved because a Mancom gets in the way. They can influence anyone effortlessly and they are able to shape any policy to ensure favorable treatment for them. It seems that they have studied the skillful manner very well. They tend to make matters worse by also being Credit Cards, but they are not as loud as the Power Trippers because they choose to be unrecognized to be able to conceal their agendas. For Mancoms, the only way to make things ok is to follow their way.
- “I need a 50-page report. Finish this in 5 minutes!!!”
Power trippers have a liking on self-aggrandizing quest for ever-increasing control over others and they just can’t help it. Creatures of this kind have very keen eyesight for mistakes and ear-splitting voices for the faulty. It is because they feel that they own every matter in the entire universe, but most of the time they are the ones who are just second (in command) or subordinate. They are so much full of themselves that they don’t realize the ones having higher ranks than them are more humble. They ask brusquely for everything that they need and always say “ASAP”. They want every moment to be about them so the tendency is to make everything grand as long as they’re the stars. Talking about abuse. To tame this creature, all you need is to feed it with attention or just stay hidden.
More Office Creatures coming soon…
Taking the credit... card.
Credit Card is the new definition of plastic. I have so many encounters with creatures like Credit Cards. They are the ones unnoticed because like the thin credit cards, they are well situated for oblivion. Because they are unnoticed, they are free to say and do anything. And even if you begin to notice their presence, you won’t still realize that they cause harm. What does the word ‘credit’ have to do with this creature? It is because I am pertaining to the people who do less work but take too much credit. When you have them in the office, beware for they might take away your chance on getting to the top. Your increase and promotion will remain impossible with them around. Lucky you if they only keep swiping for their own purposes because most often than not, Credit Cards are also Ass Kissers and ManComs. Once they get the promotion, they’ll become Power Trippers.
More Office Creatures (Mancoms and Power Trippers) coming soon…
Kissing ass, literally..
An Ass Kisser’s favorite past time is to kiss ass, but this creature is very unique. It has a great sense of selecting the best ass there is. Their early stage is called a Teacher’s Pet. As they grow old, they will evolve and will soon develop and improve their ass-kissing skills. If you’re the boss and you want to keep your ass wet all the time, make sure you have at least one Ass Kisser in your unit. They will make you feel good and great because of the sensation of their ass-kisses. In a day’s work, you won’t feel tired and weary because the Ass Kisser keeps on lifting your spirit up by simply kissing your ass. During dilemmas, an Ass Kisser is a remedy for they are filled with positivity. They will keep on telling you that everything you did was supreme, impeccable and pristine, though at the back your mind, what you really did was stupid. At least, you found a friend in an Ass Kisser’s stupid company. Ass Kissers aren’t bad at all, are they? They are, if you’re not the boss.
More Office Creatures coming soon…
Sound off. Speak out. Criticize. Make a fuss. Whine. Bitch. 